Usually I make a post whenever I need to write about something I consider “important” to say because for some reason, I‘m still under the impression that I have to try to be sensible and “professional” to make anything over the internet. I try way too hard to think about things to write and put in my shitty blog that people might consider has a right to exist, but I finally had enough of my arbitrary limits placed upon myself and just write. So what if my blog entries have no actual purpose that’s considered important by anybody else? Ain’t no one gonna care about it more than me. If they don’t like it, they can click off and do something else more productive in their life.
2023 was the first time I had ever started blogging for the first time, despite the fact that I didn’t know what the hell to write about. I honestly did it because it was just a thing everyone else was doing; I felt like an absolute fraud with nothing to show for it. I had been raised in an online environment where everything you did was some sort of performance for an audience that gives less of flying fuck about you as a person. You have to be perfect, but not too perfect or else you’re not “relatable”. It’s an era of fake sincerity; where everyone wants you to be “vulnerable” without the genuine cringe. You can be ugly, but not too ugly or risk being mocked for no fault of your own. I came to the personal web/indie web (or whatever the term is being passed around on this side of the internet nowadays) to avoid that shit. Yet the thing about change is it happens very gradually, you tend to relapse and stumble your way into old habits while trying to create new ones. It really wasn’t easy having to scrub all those paranoid thoughts out of me after having to do that for so long, and I doubt this post will actually do any of that overnight.
But I wanna try, I wanna ignore all my inner criticisms or concern about being cringe for the purpose of making things. Why? Because creating things is where I’m the happiest and motivated to do more things. If I do more, I create more and that makes me explore more things. It's a wonderful cycle that feeds itself. Blog posts are no exceptions. They’re not the prettiest, the most reasonable or have any good reasons to exist, but they are my creation regardless. So you know what? I’m gonna make more of these. I’m gonna write about whatever mundane thing I think is cool, I’m gonna write about my day even if no one gives a fuck about it.